Week #33: In which I melt

“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” – Mark Twain


I’m currently re-reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy & it’s caused me to wonder what I would have done if I was put in Frodo’s place. After twirling around in my cloak & being horribly disgusted at my feet, I’d probably freak out. You see, I’m an avoider when it comes to most types of conflict, & lean much more towards If I can’t see it, it can’t get me than *draw Sting* & Attack!! When I’m uncomfortable or upset, I just don’t think about it; I distract myself or put on a smile. I know this method isn’t perfect, but it works for me because there aren’t a lot of things that stress me out. But once in a while, when I’m busy ignoring something, my body will speak up & say, “Hey, this really does bother you & I refuse to cooperate until you deal with it!” This week I somewhat addressed that, dealing with the physical results while simultaneously not really dealing with any of the actual problems (avoider double score!).

One of the main points of AN52 is to push myself into doing new things outside of my comfort zone, so I’m rather pleased with this week’s thing since it was definitely outside of my comfort zone. Getting a massage was never something I considered for myself; even though I’m a huge touch person, I have a weird thing about being touched sometimes. For example, I love giving scratching my friends’ backs (literally) & have no problem rubbing their feet or heads. It’s relaxing for me & is one of my favorite ways of sharing love. However, when someone offers to reciprocate in a similar manner, all I can think is, Oh, no, that’s weird :SJust guessing, it could be related to an acne problem I had when I was younger, but I don’t really know, & I’m fine with it because, hey, I’m quirky like that. But I digress…

After some online research, I set up appointments for a friend, her mom & I at a local massage parlor. With no idea what to expect, I just made sure I was showered & didn’t smell weird. The lady masseuse led me back to a small room where I nearly fell asleep on the massage table as she rubbed my back, neck, shoulders, feet & legs. It was weirdly wonderful & I wasn’t always sure whether I should say something or not (they say whatever you need to relax, but I just wanted to make sure that she knew I valued her as a person & not just for her hands (so glad I didn’t try to say that to her, I’m so weird…)). We ended up having brief conversations punctuated by me trying not to drool. It seriously was one of the most relaxing things I’ve ever experienced. If only everything outside my comfort zone made me melt in a puddle like fully programmable flesh matter….

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