Week #48: True lies

” If you know the enemy & know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.” – Sun Tzu

 

When I was little, I was a bit of a pathological liar. I would always tell my friends that my dad had a house with 100 rooms & that I rode snapping turtles in ponds & all sorts of things. I’m still a creative thinker, but now those energies are directed in more theatrical ways. I’d like to think that I’ve become pretty honest with myself, but there’s still one area where I get caught up.

Fear. I’m probably the easiest person to scare you’ll ever meet (I’ve scared myself trying to scare someone else before). But I’m not really talking about the “Ah!” sort of moments. I’m talking about the deep down, inside yourself fears. I’ve never really acknowledged those things in my life that really make me worry in my soul (much less shared those worries with all of the millions who read my blog 😉 )

These are the biggest fears in my life right now:

  • Living in insincerity. Acting without really meaning it.
  • That I’m choosing my own comfort over God’s path for me.
  • Growing old without romantic love or choosing a husband for the wrong reasons.
  • Losing the best parts of who I am because it’s easier to be scared.
  • Waking up one day to find myself not really connected to anyone beyond a superficial level.

I know that God will get me through all of these & bring me to where my life glorifies Him. I know it because I’m His & He has thoroughly trounced & defeated Satan, who is the master of lies. But the thing about fear is that it’s not rational & I’m not great at focusing on that fact. So hopefully, through writing those down I can remind myself that trusting in God is really all I have to do, because He’s already won.

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