Week #48: True lies

” If you know the enemy & know yourself you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.” – Sun Tzu

 

When I was little, I was a bit of a pathological liar. I would always tell my friends that my dad had a house with 100 rooms & that I rode snapping turtles in ponds & all sorts of things. I’m still a creative thinker, but now those energies are directed in more theatrical ways. I’d like to think that I’ve become pretty honest with myself, but there’s still one area where I get caught up.

Fear. I’m probably the easiest person to scare you’ll ever meet (I’ve scared myself trying to scare someone else before). But I’m not really talking about the “Ah!” sort of moments. I’m talking about the deep down, inside yourself fears. I’ve never really acknowledged those things in my life that really make me worry in my soul (much less shared those worries with all of the millions who read my blog 😉 )

These are the biggest fears in my life right now:

  • Living in insincerity. Acting without really meaning it.
  • That I’m choosing my own comfort over God’s path for me.
  • Growing old without romantic love or choosing a husband for the wrong reasons.
  • Losing the best parts of who I am because it’s easier to be scared.
  • Waking up one day to find myself not really connected to anyone beyond a superficial level.

I know that God will get me through all of these & bring me to where my life glorifies Him. I know it because I’m His & He has thoroughly trounced & defeated Satan, who is the master of lies. But the thing about fear is that it’s not rational & I’m not great at focusing on that fact. So hopefully, through writing those down I can remind myself that trusting in God is really all I have to do, because He’s already won.

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Week #25: I can see clearly now

“I had glasses & was kind of weird.” – Jennifer Sky

Improv is a hobby of mine & I’m not bad at it. I’d like to say it’s because of my quick wit, natural talent or Wayne Brady-esque vocalizing, but I think it’s all the lying I did as a kid. One of the few tall tales I remember that actually fooled someone somewhat inspired this week’s AN52.

I’ve had 20/20 (or whatever’s good on the eyeball scale) vision my whole life. But when I was in the third grade all of the rest of the kids started getting glasses. So—I decided that I’d get some. I got my mom to take me to the optometrist & then proceeded to lie my toukas off while reading the eye chart. The result was a tearful confession to Mom after an extremely painful hour of wearing the thickest glasses ever made.

But I’ve decided to give it another try, honestly this time, & so this entire week I wore a pair of (non-prescription) glasses. It was painful at first since I wasn’t used to having this extra appendage, but later on in the week, I felt strange if I didn’t have them on. A few amusing things were the ‘fogging up’ factor, how many times I bumped them into things, & the fact that my boss said, “They make you look like you’ve got hootspa/chutzpah.” The downsides were the initial headaches & trying to keep them clean.

All in all, I think if the day comes, I could do glasses. But I won’t be telling any tales to get there.

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